wwp@yahoogroups.com:
Re: English check please
Pat Swovelin 2007-Jun-30 06:24:00
On 6/29/2007 10:51 PM, Eduardo Hutter rambled on about ...:
> Could someone check the text for any errors (grammatical or in style),
> please?
>
> "At the Kondiaronk belvedere on Mount Royal, the drum salutes the sun at
> its summer solstice on the National Aboriginal Solidarity Day.
>
> The ceremony takes place all over Canada every year since 1996 and this
> time gathered First Nations leaders and dignitaries from different
> levels of government to celebrate the Solstice of the Nations, when
> Innus from the Uashat-Maliotenam community
> <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uashat-Maliotenam,_Quebec> lit a fire to
> be passed to the organizers of the F?te Nationale du Qu?bec
> <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F%C3%AAte_nationale_du_Qu%C3%A9bec> and
> bringing together, creating stronger bonds of friendship between the
> peoples from Qu?bec."
"At the Kondiaronk Belvedere on Mount Royal, the drum salutes the sun
at the summer solstice on Canada's National Aboriginal Solidarity Day.
The ceremony, first celebrated in 1996, is held all across Canada. This
year First Nations leaders and dignitaries from different levels of the
Canadian government gathered to celebrate the Solstice of the Nations.
Innus from the Uashat-Maliotenam community
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uashat-Maliotenam,_Quebec> lit a fire that
was passed to the organizers of the F?te Nationale du Qu?bec
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F%C3%AAte_nationale_du_Qu%C3%A9bec> to
bring together and create stronger bonds of friendship, between the
peoples of Qu?bec."
You need to have a link coming off of Innus that defines what they are.
They're clearly priests or leaders of some sort but you need to let the
reader know that with a link.
I hope this helps.
> Thanks in advance,
>
> Eduardo
Pat Swovelin
Cool Guy @ Large